Monday, May 3, 2010

New York Hipsters Attempt to Defend Capital from Anarchists, Get Hit

"daring (and dashing) young urban professionals defend a soho american apparel under attack by anticapitalists.

On May 1, the police arrested 5 persons of seemingly anarchist descent on suspicion of hooliganism after 3 patrons of the SoHo American Apparel bravely responded to a broken window by threatening to "fuck everyone up" and then just calling the cops. We were those brave patrons. This is a call to defend capital.

This is a call to all of my well tanned, gym going, condo owning/leasing brothers and sisters to defend the stores we love from a rising tide of anticapitalism. To all wall street analysts, advertising professionals, celebrities, journalists of a certain caliber, famous chefs, legacies, and confused members of the middle class. Do you want your luxurious lifestyle to go away? Your Gaps and American Apparels? Your iPhones and iPads? Do you want to be equal to the guy who makes your latte?


Then Defend Capital!

Cause thats what these anarchist or communist or whatever the fuck they are punks want.

So Defend Capital from gross crust punks that are always ruining my day by asking me for change when I try to hang out on St. Marks. Defend capital from shoplifters and worker sabotage (snitch on your coworkers!). Defend Capital from student protesters, insurgents, taliban, Al qaeda and all the other terrorist assholes on teh news. Defend Capital from its own youth, who've learned to hate it so passionately.

But most of all be prepared to Defend Capital from those who have none, because they are coming for us.

- Defend Capital"


Remember those faces, all you NYC folks. Did love to see those cops NOT respond when an anarchist straight up socked that idiot in the face. Good riddance, hipster scum, see you next year.

Solidarity to all the May Day insurrectionaries. From the news reports, it appears to have been a good year for the resistance.


  1. "Brave"? whats with the distorted voices and the bandanas then?

  2. That would be to hide identities from the repressive authorities (duh, direct action is illegal), if you're referring to the anarchists, the mask is worn by revolutionaries around the world as a gesture of solidarity. It can also be used to help protect yourself from chemical weapons used by the police. Also, you're reading from a tongue-in-cheek communique written "from the perspective of" the "defenders of capital."

  3. What exactly is the beef with American Apparel? The largest operable American soil clothing manufacture, compensating it's employees nearly two and a half times the pay-rate of a comparable job at it's factory in LA. Vegan-friendly, bicycle lending, sustainable cotton, charitable donations to flood and earthquake victims to name a few.

    So, if you had done ANY research, invested ANY time, thought ANY of this through before making complete fools out of yourselves, you would realize there are much, much greater tasks at hand to tackle then spend your lazy Saturday afternoon pettily breaking the windows of a socially responsible retailer in what looks to be a completely ill-planned, ill-conveiced, ill-executed "call to action".

    To the creators of this video, I ask you, what does it feel like to be bordering on the same level of knowledge, skill, thoughtfulness and reasoning as the Religious Far Right Extremists....

    Violence is direct action will never promote social change.
    Go back to "asking for change on St. Marks, because you are embarrassing to people who are actually out there skillfully, thoughtfully, and knowledgeably promoting non-violent direct action.


    There's a pretty good analysis of AA union busting tactics and rampant institutionalized sexual harassment. In my opinion, it justifies fucking their shit up whenever possible, but go ahead and keep enjoying your lifestylist, guilt-assuaging capitalist co-option of "activism", Zoe. It only results in the neutralization and passive ignoring of anything you'll ever champion. Keep holding that sign! Soon the world will change! : )

    And so-called "violent" direct action (because breaking inanimate objects that feel no pain as a form of sabotage is so "violent." Tell that to living beings that are systemically and violently brutalized, exploited and enslaved by those that serve the state and capital) never changed ANYTHING? How about the riots that sent Oscar Grant's killer to trial, only to see the State's judicial system protect one of its own AGAIN and fail the people? More direct action is planned to right that wrong, as DA proved to be the only thing that gave the people of Oakland a voice.

    How about the militant confrontations to keep Nazis, racists and fascists out of our communities? What about the SHAC campaign that nearly forced an animal abusing company out of business? Or, fuck, how about any legitimate resistance movement in the last two centuries? Were anti-fascists in France and Spain just "stooping down to the levels of their enemies" when they engaged in violent actions against those who committed atrocities?

    Riddle me that and remember you live in the first world. Not everyone can even have this debate, because most of those struggling all over the world HAVE to "violently" defend themselves.